Conservative Book Talk

This short little book is written by a reporter, so it has a very newspaper-story feel to it. That doesn’t make it any less interesting, but anyone expecting a bit of narration or more than the most essential of outside details is in for a surprise. This is a historical account, like what monks would have written on parchment paper in the old days, only from the eyes of a totally cynical reporter of atheistic bent, who exhibits the best and worst traits of his kind (more on that later).

PLOT: The story itself deserves a place in the halls of the truth-is-stranger-than-fiction museum. A painting by Vermeer is stolen from a house in the Irish countryside. Actually, several paintings, not all by Vermeer, are stolen, but this painting is special. Its called “Woman Writing A Letter”, and its worth many millions of dollars. What is especially interesting, at this point, is the process that the criminals go through to hide the loot. After being recovered, the painting is stolen again, from the same house. Then the son of the original detective who solved the first case is called in, and its starts to get really interesting. All kinds of surprises await, and the author fills in the “boring” parts of the story with art theft trivia (including details on the recently-resolved Munich “The Scream” theft).

POSITIVES: What I found most interesting in this book were all the processes. The author is clearly representative of the best and worst in today’s reporting (at least as I see it). He describes everything in vibrant detail, sweeping the reader up into the thrill of the chase; yet, when the chase is over, there is no interest. The end is just sort of, oh-by-the-way-this-is-how-it-all-came-out-good-bye. The author gives intimate, fascinating details into how the criminals did their work, and while its fascinating to see the details of operations on both sides, yet, one has to wonder, how much of these details (on people still living and active in the British police) is really responsible to disclose. The process of criminal distribution of “loot”, the process of police investigations into art theft, the process of art restoration, to the process of creating art, and finally, most revealingly, the process of trying to protect those who enforce the law from being intimidated by criminal threats. On one hand, the myriad of ways that the police hunt for these criminals (and the criminals try to thwart them) is fascinating to read about. I had to wonder, though, as the author went into a brief delineation of the persecution faced by policemen trying to catch the ringleaders, whether it was worth it.

Its also the story of what happens to art that is stolen. The way art is used as collateral for drugs (a lot like a government keeping a stockpile of gold to back up its currency) is utterly fascinating. The author also gives the political background, showing how the Irish have been rather criminally inclined for centuries.

NEGATIVES: I would not recommend this as a book to little kids, if only for that one chapter. We learn what kinds of intimidation techniques criminals use to try and make police back off. Its not so much gross as creepy; scanning newspaper articles for the names of officers involved, and using that information to track down individual policeman’s family. The thought of some criminal coming up to a policeman and naming for him all his kids and what time they left school that day… is just not necessary for a child to know about, okay? The crimes are almost exclusively theft, and while the masterminds are accused of doing A LOT of things, there is only one off-hand notice of anything more repulsive than that, and it is dealt with very tactfully. For me, it caused a lot of deep thinking about the issues faced by our media and the police. Also, the end is very blah, rather boring.

In essence, this is a book that is to be read for the chase. Anyone who likes thrilling detective story should be enthralled by “the Irish Game”

Patrick McManus has a strange sense of humor: part redneck, part clown with a dash of subtlety. Yeah, if you haven’t read McManus, you probably don’t understand how a redneck can be subtle…. McManus pulls it off with style.

McManus writes predominantly about hunting, fishing, and his own life as a bumbling hick. It is his character’s approach to life that makes McManus worth reading. His “artificial life,” as seen through his writings, refuses to acknowledge that normal people view him as insane. He blithely sails through life with the assumption that everyone sees him the same way he views himself. He exemplifies this approach in his story about wounding his hand. Supposedly everyone loves to hear about how people got their wounds. So, McManus pops into the tavern and begins to tell everyone his story. Everytime he comes up for air, one audience member asks another about his latest fishing exploits (a la Anton Chekhov in the Cherry Orchard). McManus sees this as proof that they are interested in his story…..

Right about now, you might be saying to yourself, “Self, I am done with this review. There’s no way I am interested in reading a book by an ‘outdoors humorist.’” Well, hear me out for just a few more lines.

It is my opinion that everyone should read McManus for the following reasons. First, he writes in short stories that are convenient for those times when you only have five or ten minutes to read.

Second, McManus’ approach to writing humor is unique and must be read to be appreciated. While Patrick McManus and Bill Cosby have their own unique styles, most comedians don’t; they copy each other with short witty “one-liners.” So, as a connoisseur of literature, you should read McManus to see a different approach to writing.

Third, McManus writes clean humor. You won’t find objectionable content (might be a tiny bit crass, but of the junior high style crass) and you will laugh (I hope). Give him a try; your library will have at least one of his books, I’m certain, but you can get a taste of this book here.

The other morning I picked up Mischief from the Back Pew (which appears to be out of print - but available through Amazon’s resellers). I have read this book before, but it is a delight to reread a couple of chapters on occasion. The chapters are short: about 3-5 minutes reading time. This book is a compilation of comic monologues re-worked for printing. Very enjoyable.

The Hafer brothers grew up in church as PKs (Preacher’s Kids) and they have a lively and enjoyable approach to church life - and all life in general. Whether they are discussing the “drunk interim secretary” or the COE - Church of Elvis, you will be laughing aloud. The way they discuss church life specifically and life generally will keep you laughing until you are out of breath.

My favorite chapter just might be “Do You, Jedd, Take This Blame to Be With You Always?” Every married man can sympathize and every married woman would say “right on!” Just try not to read the book when you are supposed to be quiet…. You’ll probably choke yourself trying to maintain your silence.

You might also wonder how much of this actually happened and how much is exaggeration or fiction. A while back, I would have argued that no family could have that many funny things happen to them. Then I made some new friends. Now I know that one family could have that many stories! Now, I am certain that the Hafer brothers took some comic liberty with the stories, but it was worth it.

The book is not just comedy, but they effectively use the comedy to make certain points. One of the first points (and I disagree strongly with this) is that Christian Rock is acceptable music. With that, they talk about how their father would buy rock music for them under the condition that the church elders never found out about it. There is a slight problem of deception being taught by the pastor to his children in that story. But, on the brighter side, they dicuss the deity of Christ and the rigors of a pastor’s daily routine. Using humor, they bring our and expand several other points in the book.

For $1-2 on Amazon, you should add this to your next order. (You know- the next order that you make through this site…. It will help keep the site open.) You will be happy that you bought this little gem.